high school lessons

Some things I wish I had known in high school

( Excerpt from a speech delivered to high school students in Ilocos Norte, Philippines in 2017)

For the young ones.

I am by no means an expert on life, but I have the benefit of more than 40 years of experience and some beautiful life lessons that I wish someone would have told me when I was your age.  It would have benefited me a great deal if I had known these when I was younger. I summarize them in 3 points that I hope will help you as you navigate this increasingly chaotic world.

The first thing I want to say is this: always carry within your heart the conviction that you have the right to be here, to be who you are, and to be who you want to be. Never let anyone make you feel less of a human being just because you are different or you do not conform to the expectations of other people or of society. Whoever you are, whatever kind of family you come from, however you look like in the outside, whatever your gender preferences, each and every one of us has the right to be here and to be who we are and be proud of it.

Remember that you were created for a purpose, in all your uniqueness and peculiarities. We were all created for a purpose, in all our differences and diversities. Be confident in who you are. And find good people who will accept you and support you for who you are, and will help you reach your highest potential as a human being.   

Secondly, study hard and focus on your studies, but remember that there are great lessons to be learned outside the four corners of the classroom and the library and beyond your books. Look around you. There is a vast universe waiting to be discovered. Talk to the cleaner, the gardener, the fishball vendor, the elderly, the men, women, and children in the communities, there is great deal to be learned from the experiences of other people and from our interaction and relationships with them.

It is easier now than it was during our time, because there is the social media, there is the Facebook and other sites where we can at least have a glimpse of the current events in the country and around the world. You might be young but that is not an excuse to be apathetic to what is happening around you. And you can start by asking the right questions. Why is this happening? Why are there so many people being killed? Why are more and more people driven to poverty? Why are women and children being abused?  What can we do? Even if you do not yet find the answers, it is enough that you do not simply accept things as they are.

Take a stand. If you see an injustice being done in front of you, do not be afraid to take a stand.   If you see a woman or child or anyone else being abused, speak up, or at least tell someone else who can act on it. If you read Facebook posts that you find interesting, do not just share these – analyze carefully, read up a bit, and determine which ones are based on accurate facts, actual historical facts, and which ones are merely spawning hatred and divisiveness. Take your stand and engage only in productive discussions. There are so many people filled with hatred and bitterness and divisiveness – let us not be a part of it.

The world doesn’t need more fighting and anger and hatred. What the world needs is empathy and compassion and the understanding that we are all fighting different battles and we do not have to hate each other for it. What the world needs is for young people to read and understand the issues and who are brave enough to take a stand and make this stand known in a responsible, productive manner. And when the time comes, to have the courage to fight for what they think is right. Then maybe, there is hope. That we can all work together and be a part of the continuing struggle to make this world a better place.

My third point is this: I repeat what you may have been hearing many times. Dream big. But that is not enough. Set a goal that you want to achieve and work hard towards it. But you know what, that is not enough – that is just the half of it. The means you have used, the process that you have gone through, is more important that the goal you have reached. As they say, life is a journey. It’s not the destination, but the journey, that matters.

What do I mean? For you, young people, you are in high school, you may have set as a goal getting high grades and maybe even graduating with honours. But I’m telling you, getting a good grade is not a goal – it is a by-product. It is a result of studying hard because you really want to learn. It is a result of finding answers and solutions to your questions because you really want to know. It is a result of friendships and good relationships and meaningful experiences with your classmates because you want to learn together instead of competing against each other. Do not spend sleepless nights memorizing because you want to get a high score, spend your night studying because you genuinely want to learn. There is a big difference, and I hope you find that thin line. Develop in you a genuine hunger for learning – from your books, from your teachers, from everything around you.  And I guarantee you, if you have that mindset, high school and college will come as a breeze, and the honours will come as a bonus. 

Because when you stand there in the stage receiving your medals, unless you learned the lessons you ought to have learned – and I mean both within and outside your classrooms, unless you have established friendships because you were not too preoccupied with getting that honour, unless you fully enjoyed your four years in high school because you knew how it was to be young and to have fun – those medals will be nothing but cold, empty, meaningless displays in your cabinet.

The same is true with life in general.  You may have reached your goal of getting rich, or being famous, but if you merely focused on reaching that goal and forgot to have a good life, if in the process, you failed to establish meaningful relationships with your loved ones and create good memories with them, if God forbid, you stepped on other people, you cheated and lied, you entered into immoral transactions, just to reach that goal, then your riches are meaningless, and you will have left behind a horrible legacy.  

Because, my friends, ultimately, the kind of person that you have become, the lessons you have learned, is what matters most. It is far more important than whatever goal you have set and reached.

And before I go, let me just remind you, that dreaming big is not equivalent to getting rich. Money is not equivalent to success. If you will find fulfillment in any other meaningful endeavor that will not bring you the richness that this world so values, do not be afraid to go for it. Dream the dream that your heart tells you to dream, and not the dream that the society expects of you.

And what if you don’t know yet? What if you don’t have a goal? What if you don’t know what to dream? What if you are confused? That’s okay. Many of the people my age still do not know what to do with their lives. I have occasional doubts whether I am following the right path. It’s okay. Take your time, enjoy every moment. Be patient towards all your questions and confusions and internal struggles. Life is not a race.

All you need to do is have faith that the God who created you for a purpose knows what he is doing, that he has a great plan for you, and that he is leading you exactly where you are supposed to be.

At the end of the day, the best thing you can ever be, is to be the best version of yourself.  Do your best to be that, and everything will be fine.

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One thought on “Some things I wish I had known in high school”

  1. Nuggets of wisdom that young students would love to hear …guiding them as they fight their own battles and leading them to the right path in achieving their dreams and ambitions….these golden thoughts are both challenging and encouraging the students to be give their best in everything they strive to do thus upgrading themselves the best they can..

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